Hunter Biden’s Gonna Find It Hard to Walk (Outside) For a While

By Danny C. | DCPeriodical | 11/28/19 |

Well, I guess we know where all that Ukrainian Burisma money Hunter Biden was collecting was going. As it turns out, frequent drug-fuelled orgies at stripclubs.

As everyone is aware, presidential front-running hopeful Joe Biden (D) and his son Hunter are currently caught up in a scandal for Hunter receiving enormous amounts of money from the corruption-coated Ukrainian gas company Burisma.

Through his father’s power as vice president under Obama, Hunter was placed on the board of Burisma and collected vast sums of money for years as a result, despite having no experience whatsoever in the industry.

Unfortunately, things just haven’t seemed to go right for Hunter Biden since he left Burisma.

His wife left him, he just found out he has a kid that he never knew about, and apparently he’s addicted to crack. If wasn’t for the occasional dildo up his ass, he wouldn’t be having any fun at all.

While that all sounds crazy, and it is, these are the allegations coming from several sources who seem to paint a pretty clear and corroborating picture of who Hunter Biden is.

The New York Post has reported that a stripper named ‘Dallas,’ aka Lunden Alexis Roberts, has just proven through a DNA test that Biden is the illegitimate father of her baby, as court documents confirm.

She is demanding child support and the secret service to provide her baby security as any of Biden’s kids would receive.

Roberts worked at a stripclub Biden frequented called Mpire in Washington, DC, and had the baby right around the time his wife left him.

“A valet at the St. Regis Washington, D.C. hotel, located near Mpire, couldn’t confirm if Roberts had ever stayed there with Biden, but said Biden stayed at the hotel ‘many times’.

‘Honestly I can’t say, but Hunter Biden has been here with brunettes and blonde,’ the valet said.”

Daily Mail, 11/27/19.

With reporters poking around stripclubs to dig deeper into the story, so much more has been revealed about the depraved man America’s leading presidential hopeful raised. None of it good.

Apparently Biden (Hunter) is a heavy drinker who likes to hit up the VIP rooms, have sex with the dancers, and smoke an 8-ball while getting anally penetrated by fake penises.

This is according to multiple sources from another stripclub in DC called Archibald’s, where Biden is also a regular, and has in the past been warned by management and staff to stop smoking crack inside their establishment.

Page Six has reported that staff at New York’s Hustler Club were asked by Biden, who had rented out the VIP and filled it with strippers, to go and buy him a dildo for the girls to use on him, which they did.

It’s a media onslaught, and Hunter Biden, through his own actions, has been socially destroyed.

What these revelations will do to Joe Biden’s campaign is for the future to unfold and present, but if Hunter’s behavior is any indication of how good Joe Biden is at producing successful results in the world, Biden’s chances aren’t looking as good as they did last month at this time. Prepare for damage control.

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Published by DCPeriodical

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